My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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