I puked a lego.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I want her autograph on my taint
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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