I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I cut my penus on the lid.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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