He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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