hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
