i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
