So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
