i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
