No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I smell stomach acid.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize