I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
one might say we're banned from that church
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize