she looked like the before picture.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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