oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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