is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
