Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
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I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
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Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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