YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
