He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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