There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
