ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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