Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
only you would photoshop your dick
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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