He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Randomize
