also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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