Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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