sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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