So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
