i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
