lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
