So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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