I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You are a genius and a whore.
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