he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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