do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
