..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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