do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
