I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
