I swear god or herbie drove my car home
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
