So drunk its hurt
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Actions speak louder than pants.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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