i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
