Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
