so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I have feelings that need drinking.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
