I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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