Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
