life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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