Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
