glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
