Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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