I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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