living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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