i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
