mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
