Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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