Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize