dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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