I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
