Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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