dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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