Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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