Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
