sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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