Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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