It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
