Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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