my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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