if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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