Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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