It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
BRING THE BAGELS
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
