Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize