We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
