i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
